Kickstarter #9 - Photos & Diaries

When waking up to a new day doesn’t excite you anymore, you are like an artist with a palate whose paint has dried up. When the canvas of life was once splashed full of colour and sprayed with fancy designs, you now you’re your life’s inadequate and bland. You wouldn’t even be able to put a colour pencil to good use. What’s gone wrong and how can life be like it was before?

The sad truth is - life can never be like it was before. The consolation is, if you’ve got records to show for it, it would be like holding up a kaleidoscope to the light and seeing the beautiful forms and colours all over again. We all know the value of photographs. Photographs are valuable possessions in every family, land and kingdom. They are visual records of a time past.

Here’s a tip - Dust off old photographs you’ve kept tucked away all these years and share a plough-through-the-album hour with a loved one. You’d be amazed how the old photos evoke so much memories and nostalgia – the happy times, the days when you were young, the holidays, the kids – ah look how tiny they were then, the head full of hair, your trim figure then. Flipping through a photo album is like opening the sluice gates of a time past, that flood our minds with memories – akin to discovering a treasure trove. You sit back, heave a sigh and mumble to yourselves, ‘Those were the days.”

Much to be thankful for don’t you think? Allow yourself to be brought back to that time. Close your eyes if it helps, and let those static photographs morph into a show reel that runs, projecting moving images and sound. Let the movie begin…and be prepared for LOL & T – or, lots of laughter and tears!

Memory jolters can also come in the form of diaries. Many school teachers encourage their students to journal. It crystallises the innermost thoughts and feelings, and charts all that happens during the day. If you keep a diary, refer to it for old times’ sake. It will help you see what you were and where you are presently in relation to your former circumstances. Reflect and count your many blessings. For the moments that seemed insurmountable before, look at how you’ve pulled through, how you’ve overcome what seemed impossible then.

When life loses a bit of momentum, don’t neglect the clicks and the flips - whip out old photographs and the yellowing diary for a nostalgic journey back in time. Aside from the blessings, consciously look out for unfulfilled aspirations, the promises that have been given but yet to be met, and make these your targets moving forward. Life will be so much more focused and purpose-driven when you know what remains to be done.

Kickstarter #8 - Realisation of Finality

Life is punctuated with commas. A chapter of life may close, then a new one unfolds. The story goes on. The question is - How many more commas do we have ahead of us?

We will never know would be? Look at the recent natural calamities in Myanmar and China? Lives snuffed out just like that. It wasn’t just a fullstop for the many lives lost in these two disasters, it was an exclamation mark. Accidents are accented because there’s no telling when. Sometimes, there’s very little or no reason. About a year back, the pre-mature departure of five young dragonboaters in the prime of life. It’s less harsh with illness and old age, but regardless of how our life winds down, there is much pain and grief for those who continue living.

The underlining factor is ‘finality’. If you see life on earth as long drawn suffering, full of heartaches, discomforts and pain, it’s but for a time. Just as foods have their expiry dates, our lives have them too. It seems ironic that I’m talking about the end of our days in our Kickstarter for Life series. But just this realisation that there will come a time when life on earth comes to a complete stop, should make you sit up and wonder what life and this lifetime is really about.

It’s good to live for the here and now, when we’re embracing all of what life has in store for us. But what’s even better is when you know that your life on earth has been led to the fullest and most worthwhile when your time is up. I was at the wake of an aunt last weekend and was encouraged by her husband's testimony of how fully she'd led her life, especially in the closing years of her life while battling cancer. Isn't that wonderful?

Have you conquered your fears? Can you say, "I've been there, done that"? Or are you crippled with fear of everything that's unfamiliar? How then can you say you've lived life to the fullest? It's like scraping the cream of a slice of cake, eating it, and saying you've had your cake and eaten it. What about honing your skills to the best of your ability? Have you served others and attended to their needs? Have you prepared for the next journey where time is no longer an issue?

Just the recognition of the brevity of life ought to be impetus for you to determine what really matters in life, and to pursue those matters decisively and wholeheartedly.

I propose a toast that you live your life wisely and selflessly and invest in the things that matter beyond the here and now.

Kickstarter #7 - Retreats

The word ‘retreat’ has several meanings. It can refer to (a) a withdrawal, (b) a place of refuge or one that offers peace and quiet or (c) simply to treat again.You’re probably aware of corporate retreats maybe having gone on a couple before - where staff take a day or a few days out of the office to refresh and renew themselves. Some organisations use such occasions to build teamwork, some intend it as a reward for a job well done, while others regard it as a chance to rethink and relook departmental and organisational goals, and how to achieve them.

Then there are spiritual retreats. Church camps for instance allow members of the Christian faith to withdraw to a place of quiet for prayer, study and meditation. It’s a time of contemplation, conversation, feeding and offers rest and renewal.

Unlike a holiday which is typically filled with activities, where the itinerary affords no or little personal time, a retreat allows you time and space to call a ‘time-out’ on life. What’s the point of a time-out? Well let’s look at world of sports. A ‘time-out’ in sports refers to a stoppage in the match for a short amount of time. This allows for the coach to communicate with the player or team, with the purpose of either determining strategy or inspiring morale. Time-outs are usually called at strategically important points in a match. Time-outs aren’t just for sportsmen to catch their breath and gulp some water, as you can see, its value is far more precious.

What about you? Have you called for a ‘time-out’ in the hectic life you lead? Life isn’t meant to be lived at full throttle with the challenge to see how far we go before we konk out. Rather, life should be led with the periodic recharge. Just like our mobile phones and camera batteries need to be plugged in every few days for revival, we need to do the same. Set aside time for a personal retreat and if you’re not comfortable travelling alone, invite a friend along - a friend just as weary and worn-out on life’s journey. It needn’t be a faraway place or at the most expensive resort, you can retreat to a chalet right here in our own backyard.

Retreats help you take stock on life. It gives you a chance to be still and to plan your route again and see if you’ve gone off course. The quietness of retreats is the perfect bedrock for unhurried contemplation and much needed rest. If retreats are the pre-cursors for advances in life, shouldn’t they be called ‘advances’ instead? Here’s leaving you something to think about till tomorrow.

Kickstarter #6 - Friends

I want us today to consider our bounty of friends. Friends who’ve stayed by our side, and if not physically, who have stayed in touch through the passing of time. Through the passage of time, we have lost many friends along the way. Phases of life disconnect us. Work takes them away and sometimes ourselves. Interests grow apart.

It is a sad fact that your circle of friends dwindles as you grow older, but the friends who continue to remain in close quarters become even more precious to you. I recently caught up with a friend I’d made while in primary school on a social networking site and he told me I was the only one from that phase in life he’s still in contact with. So I asked him if he knew the secret formula to how our friendship had stood the test of time. His reply was, ‘When you’re able to pick up from where you left off’. Our friendship had remarkably weathered the passing of time though we’d lost contact for half our lives. It had been well-shielded from eroding pressures of time because of the solid foundations we’d built a long time ago.

About a month ago, I arranged to have dinner with a classmate from secondary school. We’ve been close buddies and he’s relocating to London to work in a week’s time. He shared how having to uproot and to leave his friends and family behind was getting to him and that he didn’t want anyone sending him off because it wouldn’t be a dry-eyed affair. I respected his request. While friends may come and go in our lives, we are blessed with friends who’ll always be in contact with us no matter how physically distant they are to us and however long that period will be.

Our friends have the power to stir up fond memories of chapters of our lives, of moments of sweetness, to the sour and bitter. They bring us back to the ‘once-upon-a-time’ for us, and because they’re able to do that, we’re able to see how far we’ve come, how much headway we’ve made in life and be thankful.

Friends are also an antidote for being self-absorbed. They allow us to reach out to them with our hands and hearts when we partake in their frustrations, hurts and regrets. Friends remind us that we can be there for them and that the favour is mutually returnable. If the circumstances in your life are crippling you, look to your friends to cheer you upwards and onwards. Just like marathoners feed on the support of bystanders who cheer them from the sides of the long run, our friends can do the same for us and we for them.

Kickstarter #5 - Sports & Exercise

I have over the last four days been sharing with you ways we can pick ourselves up when life loses a bit of its sheen. We’ve looked at the effervescent effect of being spontaneous, the charm that children can have in our lives and the therapeutic properties of nature for when we are forlorn. So what else can jumpstart our life?

Well we’re on the eve of a weekend and what more suitable to suggest than sports and exercise. Sports is a word that signifies outdoor recreation, the athletic work as contrasted with the serious intellectual occupation. It encapsulates play, amusement, entertainment and recreation. Now can someone not like any of these terms? If you do and you’re not a competitive couch potato, time to get off those buns and get toasty in the sun.

We’ve heard is said that physical activity is good for our wellbeing. Wellbeing not limited to just our physical strength and endurance, but extending to mental and emotional development. Michael Jordon had this to say, “When I step onto the court, I don't have to think about anything. If I have a problem off the court, I find that after I play, my mind is clearer and I can come up with a better solution. It's like therapy. It relaxes me and allows me to solve problems.”
Japan recognizes the inter-play and dependency of health and sports, which led it to initiate a Health and Sports Day called ,Taiiku no hi in 1966. This day is held annually on the second Monday in October and is declared a national holiday. How about that?!

Physical activity needn’t be competitive sport. It can be a social game, or a recreational activity. If you live near a park or a park connector, let your legs take you there. If a jog or run outdoors isn’t convenient, a treadmill could be your pathway to fitness.

Sports and fitness takes your mind from the everyday grind and grime. It gets your heart beating, blood circulating and those andorphins do wonders to your mood. Inject some action into your life today and see those daily blues fade away.

Kickstarter #4 - Kids

When life seems to have dulled a little, when it’s lost its vibrancy, have you tried surrounding yourself with children?

Just being with children can be therapeutic, because they let us into their care-free world where all is simple and springing up flowers. Where joys are magnified and worries belittled. It’s like there’s always a rainbow regardless how severe the storm just past.

If you have a child or have had the opportunity of frolicking with them and frizzing their hair up, you know how fun that can be. How are you celebrating them? Pocket money and freedom to do as they like isn’t the way to go, because giving of your substance and allowing them free rein doesn’t exactly cut it. Engaging our children by being physically with them, and connectedness at an emotional level through open communication channels goes farther.

A couple of months back, I had the chance to baby sit my friends’ five-year-old son Nathaniel. I’d last met the kid two years ago when he was just three but the child expressed no memory of me. But the way he quickly opened up to me when we met seemed to suggest otherwise. I felt as if he’d known me all his 5-year-old life! Within minutes of our meeting, he was climbing all over me, I was tossing him in the air, flinging him by one arm and flipping him over, giving him piggyback rides in a manmade pool atop a shopping centre and having a water fight. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun with a child. The child taught me to roll up my pants, let down my guard and marvel at the simple pleasures of life and laughter. Children bring out the child in adults.

Kids can teach adults so many things, and they are the ones who lead you by the hand to teach you how life can and should be celebrated. It’s unfortunate we don’t credit them enough for being life’s little ambassadors!

If you’ve got kids, I say ‘What a privilege!’ In fact, a passage from the Bible out of the book of Psalm had this to say about children – that they are a heritage from God, that offspring are His reward to us and how blessed a man is when his household is full of them.

Life in an adult world isn’t easy. It’s punctuated with politics, pain, and selfish pursuits and they cast a cloud over how we can find joy and meaning in life.

If caffeine jump starts your day, imagine what children can do for your life?

Photo credits: John and son, Conrad

Kickstarter #3 - Food

It’s often said that you are what you eat. But apart from how you look, what you eat also has the power to impact how you feel. A survey of 200 people by the Food & Mood Project in the UK found that 88% of them reported that their mental health improved significantly when they changed their diet. It was established that cutting down on certain foods or what are termed "stressors", and increasing the amount of what are called "supporters", had a beneficial effect on their mood. What then are good foods to keep our spirits up and our energy levels high?

Dr. Jean Carper's book, “Food — Your Miracle Medicine” points us directions. Protein-rich foods are recommended, like low-fat seafood, non-fat milk, low-fat or non-fat yogurt, nuts, legumes, broccoli and easy-to-buy fruits like apples, pears, peaches, grapes. Pretty healthy stuff! Protein breaks down into amino acids when you digest it, increasing the production of neurotransmitters, and hence the rise in energy and alertness. To fight depression, feed yourself foods like beans, pasta, vegetables, cereal, bread and crackers. Foods that contain folic acid like spinach and other dark leafy greens also get the thumbs up. There’s another category of food that contains selenium. It’s been found that those with low selenium levels show a greater incidence of depression. That being the case, you might want to stock up on brazil nuts, canned light tuna, cooked oysters, sunflower seeds, clams and garlic .

I wouldn’t go as far as to say that food IS the answer to life’s problems. It isn’t. Your spirits aren’t going to be uplifted just by digging into a lavish buffet spread. If anything, you’d have to be lifted out of the restaurant if you over eat. Foods have their different properties, some are beneficial and good for your health and well-being, while others can work against you.

When you choose your next meal, snack or beverage, stop to think about how you’d like to feel straight after. The food-mood response is short-term. But if you need a pick-me-up right here right now, how about whipping up a linguini dish with garlic and clams, or snack on peaches and pears in non-fat yoghurt? Of course, you need no reminding what chocolates can do for you!

Kickstarter #2 - Nature

Just like cars sometimes need a cable to jumpstart their engines, you and I could do with a reminder of two how we can kickstart our life when we’re feeling a little flat. With modern day amenities, gadgets, appliances and devices, we’re all a click and a switch away to making things work for us. Pushing a button gets you from ground floor to the 20th. Flip over the cover and you are connected to the world. Swipe your credit card and half the world is yours to purchase. The power is ours to further our personal interests and ambitions and to add to our ever-growing list of assets in today’s material world.

I’m not suggesting that having such means and capabilities is a bad thing. It’s great to be connected and be in sync with how the world operates in this day and age.But when we talk about connectedness, being connected isn’t always a good thing. You’re just a Blackberry away from your boss. You’re just a click away from a scandalous rumour about you on someone’s blog. You’re just a view away from a voyeur across the street.

You see connectedness, gadgets and gizmos have their way of intruding into our lives, to rob us of our privacy and security. If connectedness has worn you out and made you wary and weary, how about plugging in to nature?

Nature is God’s masterpiece you didn’t have to lift a finger to create, but to appreciate. The magnificent mountains that tower over the deepest valley, the clearest lake to the mysterious deep seas, the variety of species in the animal kingdom to the endless hues and forms of ferns, flowers and forests. Truly a breathtaking sight to marvel that’s around you. I was in awe when I looked up into the skies above Kenya. It was an extraordinary feeling of being thrust into a galaxy of stars in all its dazzling splendour. I’d never known stars shine so bright in the night sky till I was in a remote village in the mountains. Nature has an amazing way of refreshing us. It has a way of settling us, of numbing our worries, of putting things in their place and shifting our perspectives about how we see ourselves against the backdrop of nature.

Transport yourself to a place where nature abounds, where nature runs wild, where nature is undisturbed. Dare yourself to behold the beauty of nature in all its creativity - unpretentious and honest. Let it not just appeal to your eyes, but all your other senses. Let it wash over you; feel the different sensations on your skin. Tune your ears to the chorus of animal calls and tree branches that dance in the wind. How about the rolling streams of the river or the thunderous roar of cascading waterfalls? Don’t shut out the sights, sounds, smells and sensations of nature. Retreating to them evokes a sense of refreshment like no other can. Swim with the sharks, have breakfast with an orangutan, go bushwalking or nature treks.

Rough it out when you’ve been roughed up in the grind of life and you’ll come out ready to take on the world fresh and renewed.

Kickstarter #1 - Spontaneity

All of this week and next, let me introduce you to 10 simple measures you could put in place and practice right where you are in your very corner of life. Some of these aspects may be downright straightforward and familiar, but we all could do with a little reminding. Some may be things we’re considering for the first time and have never quite considered them as being capable of injecting some life back into your life. Well are you one of many who complain about living from one day to the next with hardly a chance to do anything pleasurable?

The bottomline is that life can be dull and boring. We all fall into a routine in our 7-day 24-hour cycle. Everything is structured. There is a sequence to how things unfold in your day and how your typical week will pan out. Does this reflect your schedule? How about today? Did the alarm go off at 7am? You chow down your breakfast with a quick flip of the newspapers and you’re out the door by 8am. You join the traffic crawl to this place called ‘The Office’ and you wave hi to the security guard at the foot of your office tower minutes to 9 o’clock, before greeting your company receptionist on the 6th floor. You know what’s ahead and it’s a day-in-day-out set course. You can do it with your eyes closed.

How unexciting! Can anything change? Can life be less predictable? Sure it can! And you have the power to inject some pizzazz into the seemingly mundane ho-hum of your workday and week. So what can you do? Hmmm…have you tried surprising yourself? It’s a curative formula that throws all plans out the window and is all about impulse and instincts? It’s called Spontaneity.Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary defines Spontaneity as being “the quality or state of being spontaneous, or acting from native feeling, proneness, or temperament, without constraint or external force”.

Someone’s said that "spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organised routine, a bit of unscheduled plea". You have the power to break the cycles in your life. Instead of getting up at 7, why not sleep in an extra half hour, catch that direct bus to work on those fuss-free bus lanes and call for a breakfast meeting with the secretary empowered to buy her favourite breakfast for the department and you paying for it of course. Oh and how about walking up to your 6th floor office just to get the blood circulating for the day ahead? You don’t have to do things today the way you’ve always done them before.

You don’t think about being spontaneous, you just do it. It comes from within you to do what you like, how you like it and when you want it. It just happens – unplanned, unstructured and best of all, unexpected but still within your power to shape it.

Try something today that’s outside of your regular motion and you’d find life so much more fulfilling and exciting with those sparks of spontaneity.

Rattled, Frazzled & All Shook Up

Of late, I’ve been:
- physically worn out,
- snowed in with work,
- hardly with it in my other commitments,
- recipient of news of the passing of dear ones of four close friends,
- nagged by suspected tendonitis,
- moodier than usual, and
- 'oesophagally' in pain. The doctor said I have a pretty bad case of throat infection and it’s not gotten better despite having been on medication the last couple of days. I think it’s just got to do with rest, of which I grossly lack and cannot find time for, especially so when my job requires the intense utility of it. But the throat is just one of many parts of me (and you) that determines my (your) overall well-being.

So feeling all beat down like a tree felled by a vicious storm, I thought I’d remind myself and share with you (if you're in similar waters) how we can get back up on my feet again. From Monday and the next two weeks, allow me to suggest ways in which we can kickstart our life and refresh ourselves in ways so simple we never thought could work. Check back on Monday for the first Kickstarter to Life distributed exclusively by The NewsStan(d).

Sleeping The Blues Away

Life can be utterly exhausting. It can be energy sapping, emotionally draining and headache inducing. It's sort of like mice who run on the plastic wheel in the cage with no end in sight. The wheel of life keeps spinning and sometimes, you lose your bearing and footing and find yourself spinning out of control, panting and dazed like you were inebriated. Mondays can especially be horrendously dreadful to wake up to. I know it's pure ordeal; I speak from experience, so take comfort you're not alone.

But over the weekend just past, I treated myself to a generous serving of sleep. It was a slightly later rousing on Saturday and a 3-hour nap (i know most wouldn't call anything longer than an hour a nap) on Sunday! It's awesome what sleep can do to your senses and sense of well-being! Do you, like me, look at sleep as a waste of time when you could be out doing something? We're just such a restless generation that keeping still and being tucked under the covers is the last thing many want to do. But try it for yourself to understand the value of sleep in 'a restless world like this is' (lyrics used without permission from 'A Whole New World').

Life doesn't have to be long drawn if you punctuate it with enough sleep. Check back soon as I let you in on some things you can introduce to your life that work as excellent kickstarters when life loses a bit of its colour.