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Monday, September 03, 2012

In Loving Memory of my Auntie Maureen

Sooner or later, you lose someone dear, someone blood-related. I recognise that life here and now is transient, there's no permanence to be found in this life and that's a certainty...and maybe a relief too.
In June, my cousins lost their father. I lost an uncle. We grieved. Two months and a bit, my auntie (my late uncle's elder sister) breathed her last. Another season of mourning. This auntie isn't just a 'regular' auntie. You could say she was size-wise, but she was big-hearted. I recently asked my dad which sibling he was closest to, he said it was auntie Maureen because she was a very giving person, always looking out and caring for others. I am sure my dad has many wonderful memories of his elder sister he could tell you about if you asked him to.

My aunt Maureen (seated in the centre) visiting in Brisbane, Australia
To me, auntie Maureen was the only aunt who was with me at life's three most significant moments till now.

My aunt at my graduation in 1998
Auntie Maureen at Milestones of my Life
- In 1974 before I cared to remember or had the ability to, auntie Maureen has reminded me she was the one who carried me as a newborn in her arms when together with my mother, I was discharged from hospital. I believe she carried me with a sense of pride as if cradling her own child.
- In 1998, she and my uncle Devan attended my convocation in Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, to celebrate my graduation. It was lovely to have them there to witness the big day I would wear a gown and a mortar board.
- In 2007, she was there to celebrate my wedding to my dear wife Dorcas.

She was an auntie who was present at the milestone moments of my life. Not just physically present but emotionally engaged. Regardless of which life stage, I don't recall ever a time she'd not enquire if I had eaten or if I'd been eating well. At almost every family gathering, her parting remarks were almost predictable. She'd say to me in Cantonese: "Zou mat yeh kom sao? Lei oi sek tor tee chee tou mou?" (translated to mean:,"Why are you so skinny? You must eat more, you understand?"). I would look back and wonder why she'd say the same thing to me at every Chinese New Year gathering. Even my mum was put on the defensive with the suggestion that she hadn't been feeding me well. Her enquiries came fast and furious while I was serving NS and she would see me every week in church. Back then, I hadn't introduced the term 'ectomorph' into my vocabulary. But that's how my auntie Maureen was - she believed in the basics of well-being and showed her love in that manner. She was ever hospitable. Even when my wife and I visited her in the closing weeks and months of her life, she would in her frail state still enquire if we had eaten and call for the helper to serve us drinks.

As a kid, I'd be most excited about visiting auntie Maureen. Her red packets were the most prized among all that I receive from my relatives on both sides. She was generous, she was giving to her family - to her siblings, her nieces and nephews.

A family meal together
My auntie Maureen has been battling cancer these many years. It went into remission, then it returned. When the doctors exhausted all other forms of medical treatment, she came home to spend her remaining days. She grew weaker by the week. From being independent and mobile, auntie Maureen went from being able to sit up in a chair in the living room to receive guests, to lying in bed in the bedroom and be assisted out to the dining room at meal times, to lying in a specially rented electric bed in the dining room from where she could still enjoy the sea breeze and look out the sliding door to see if it was day or night.

For my auntie now, there is neither day or night.

Thank you Heavenly Father for the gift of auntie Maureen. I give praise to You for auntie Maureen's ever-enquiring concern and love for the family.

Auntie Maureen, we shall meet on that beautiful shore
"In The Sweet By and By"...


There's a land that is fairer than day, 
And by faith we can see it afar; 
For the Father waits over the way 
To prepare us a dwelling place there. 

In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore; 
In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore. 

We shall sing on that beautiful shore 
The melodious songs of the blessed; 
And our spirits shall sorrow no more, 
Not a sigh for the blessing of rest. 

In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore; 
In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore. 

To our bountiful Father above, 
We will offer our tribute of praise 
For the glorious gift of His love 
And the blessings that hallow our days. 

In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore; 
In the sweet by and by, 
We shall meet on that beautiful shore. 

Many thanks to many friends who prayed for the family. Special thanks to my dear friends, Aaron, Namiko and Daniel who stood by us to support the family through their comforting presence, prayerful ways and a most loving act Namiko performed that's been etched deep in my heart:
After sharing some songs and promises from God's Word one August morning, Aaron prayed for auntie. Later on, my aunt tells us she's lost all sensation in her legs. In a heartbeat, Namiko offers to give my aunt a foot rub with lavender essential oils and asked if she would like that. My aunt nods, gamely taking on the offer. Soon, the fragrance filled the room, the massage warmed my aunt's feet, and without doubt, her heart. It may have been the best 20 minutes since she was bedridden, her legs in pain and too weak to support her. Here, my friend, a near stranger, demonstrating love in a very practical and tangible way, feeding the senses and the soul, a loving and humble act stemming from the overflow of a Saviour's love.