Torn Between A Love & A Lover

It was one of things. It's like you have your right feet and hand shackled one way and your left side clamped and pulling in the opposite direction. What a position to be stuck in, but it was in my stupidity that I put myself there.

You know that Bible verse that talks about what you're supposed to do, yet that is the same thing you wouldn't. And what you're not supposed to do, that is precisely what you do? It was a near miss for me.

It involved my colleagues who are my fellow team players for a tennis tournament that begins this Monday, 6th April. Already a lean team with the bare minimum of players required to face off with those of other companies/government ministries, I was getting excited, physically and mentally prepared for the matches ahead. BUT.....

I have cut and paste (almost wholesale) the email I sent to my team members, so I save myself from retelling the whole story. Read on.

"Like you, I’ve been waiting so long for the STAR Games to come around. I’d been practising and doubling my court time by hitting with residents in The Florida. And the 6th of April was etched in my mind after Stella sent out the fixtures! The 6th of April it was.

And then I was brought to the realisation about ‘the importance of being earnest’ in keeping a diary/PDA and jotting/entering my appointments in it. So it goes two nights ago and minutes to drifting into slumberland, I tell the wife how we were all excited about starting the tournament next Monday.

She suddenly sits up. Silence. With forced composition, she mutters, “Dear, that’s the same night as our gig.” Silence. I sit up and slump my head into my hands. What had I just done?!

I’d committed to the gig on behalf of my a cappella group last year and now, the clash! The clash bothered me most of the night; I took some time to overcome my tortured mind like a ship buffeted by the storm in the open sea. Twas only yesterday when I texted two members of my a cappella group, finding ways and means to see how someone could cover my vocal parts. You see, I have solo pieces to be sung that night that didn’t have an understudy. And so I shocked two members with my suggestion of them covering me while I pulled out of the gig and swung wildly at fluorescent yellow balls.

I still wasn’t at peace. The wife last night wasn’t either and she made it clear. I bear no grudges she did, because she set it straight that it wasn’t the right thing to pull out of a committed gig we’d planned and rehearsed for these many months. I weighed in the matter. She looked at me and wasn’t thrilled to be in my position. She knew I’d been looking forward to the tournament and she knew I had obligations to the gig. She said whichever way I chose, I’d ‘make enemies’ because I’d disappoint one group.

The gig comes only once, but next Monday’s game won’t be the only match the team will be playing. I’d committed to the gig long before the fixtures were released. And I know you guys will understand it’s not an easy decision, seeing how I love the game like you do.

The bottomline is – I wish you guys a winning streak on Mon evening and know you can give the singles a walkover.

I’ve made my decision with a heavy heart, but I know I can bless many more with my songs in the lead-up to Good Friday and Easter."

I thank God no less than four of my fellow team members understood my predicament and replied with blessings to sing my heart out!

But the choice ought to have been obvious to a believer right at the on set. Apart from taking into account which activity had been confirmed earlier, one was obviously a ministry I was called to be part of and it was God on High whom I was serving and testifying of. The other was a pale excuse for competitive recreation, with nothing more than self-glorification to be sought.

It's Passion Week and a most timely reminder to re-evaluate where my passions lie, and the depth of passion that drove Him to send His Son for me.